KITCHENER WATERLOO COUPLES THERAPY

We all begin a relationship hoping for love that lasts. But, life is complicated. We all change and grow but what does one do when we seem to be changing and growing in different directions? The person we once felt so connected to now feels more like a stranger due to busy schedules, parenting, life’s transitions. Or, what happens when trust has been broken in the relationship due to infidelity, addiction or unknown parts of the person you love. Maybe you find yourself in a constant, recurring argument with no end in sight. Or perhaps, you and your partner struggle to argue productively and end up in an angry confrontation that goes nowhere. A couples therapist can help. Having someone in the room for your relationship is different than having someone in the room for you. As a couples therapist I am here for your relationship. I am not here to assign blame but rather to help you discover why you struggle to communicate in difficult moments. Learn to talk to each other in a new way. Experience this in sessions and begin taking this skill into your home.

Couples Therapy

Areas of Focus

Arguing

Healing After Affairs

Couples and Addictions

Declining Relationship Satisfaction

Learning Communication Skills

Marriage Preparation/Premarital Counselling

Finger Pointing

What is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)?

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a well known approach to couples therapy developed in the 1980’s. It is an approach that grew from a scientific approach looking at attachment, and its impact on intimate relationships.  EFT has been rigorously studied and shown to be effective.  

The approach looks at emotion and how our attempts at emotion regulation co-creates the painful communication often experience by couples in distress. This means that the emotional experience an individual has is created and influenced  within the shared space of the relationship.  EFT looks to help couples see the patterns of interaction they are stuck in, the signals they send to each other, and the reaction these unintended signals create.  Couples often find themselves stuck and unable to communicate because their attempts to communicate create a reaction that takes over. For instance many couples get stuck in one person trying to talk while the other walks away.  What is unknown and not communicated is that the couple has become stuck in a defensive position. Their attempts to talk may come across as an accusation, while the other may believe they are making things worse and naturally, the best thing to do is step back and not say anything. In defensive communication one may come across stern, or have a sharp tone, while the other is dismissive and uninterested. This may be interpreted as an accusation, or blame or simply having checked out of the relationship.  The pain of experiencing the one you love as uninterested or blaming further triggers a reactivity between that continues to further the defensive response. The attempt to protect in an accusation and shutting down communicates unimportance and valuelessness in the relationship. Resentments grow and disconnection and isolation sets in.  EFT helps couples communicate with each other about the deeper experience of those moments. Helping couples become unguarded communicating clearly their positions of need, hurts and desires for their relationship.  

The goal of EFT is to help couples create new patterns of communication that foster a secure connection, done through experiencing new conversations guided and explored with the couples therapist. 

“Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.”

Andy Rooney

Individual therapy

Areas of Focus

Anxiety/Depression

Perfectionism

Relationship Problems

Traumatic Events

Past Memories

Posttraumatic Stress Disorder

Phobia/Fear

I am a trained Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapist.

If at any point you have a question, just send me a message. I will do my best to respond within 24 hours.

About Myself

You may wonder if I am a good fit for you and your needs. I am a registered psychotherapist specializing in couples and individual therapy. With a previous career in the trades, I understand that not everyone is excited to come to therapy. I seek to create a safe, non-judgmental space where you feel safe to talk about the hard and messy stuff in your life.

I work with couples struggling with issues such as communication, loss of connection, and  infidelity. A major approach I use in couples therapy is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). EFT works to create a more secure emotional bond between you and your partner. When you and your partner have a more secure bond, you will also see increased satisfaction, intimacy, and trust.

I also work largely with individuals who find themselves stuck in negative behaviours such as negative thought patterns, resurfacing traumatic experiences such as abuse, injuries, loss and grief due to death or divorce.  My approach has been to always be training and growing as a therapist, the focus of my training and development has been focused on the use of EFT, and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy. Two major therapeutic practices that are proven to be helpful in the areas listed above.

Reaching out for help is hard so thank you for taking the first step. I encourage you to call or email me with further questions and I will do my best to respond within 1 business day.

Please know I do my best to respond within 24 hours. If you are in an emergency and need help contact emergency services and a loved one to help you immediately. Please take care.

Phone Number (226) 210-3298

Conveniently Located to Serve Kitchener Waterloo Cambridge and Guelph